Microsoft Windows Really Crappy Edition

UPDATED

A few years ago, when ordered by a judge to remove Internet Explorer from the Windows operating system, Microsoft offered as one option an operating system that wouldn't work. I called this "compliance with a raised middle finger."

Now, ordered by the European Union to sell a version of Windows with Media Player removed, Microsoft proposed to name the OS "Windows XP Reduced Media Edition," another example of the company's tendency to give the finger to government whenever the mood strikes. (This latest insult-the-judge move is even more puzzling given that the EU didn't tell our favorite monopolist to sell the "reduced" version at a lower price, which means that PC makers are hardly likely to opt for a version that has less software at the same price.)

Anyway, Microsoft agreed to rename (eWeek) the non-Media Player version after the EU protested. But this leaves open the issue of what the actual name should be.

The title of this posting offers one suggestion. Here are some other possibilities, all showing due appreciation for Microsoft's rare combination of arrogance, paranoia and predatory skill.

Windows Government Censored Version

Windows We Should Be Able to Bundle A Roast Beef Sandwich With the OS If We Want To Edition

Windows Don't Blame Us For Your Security Problems Edition

Windows Until We Become Part of Your Taxes Edition

You get the general idea. But Microsoft needs your ideas, too. Post them below.

Let's work together to assist a poor helpless giant.

UPDATE: As usual, someone has thought about this before I did. See this funny posting by Rex Hammock.

Comments

[HT]

Microsoft Windows Eeeyuuh Edition

[Jim Hill]

Microsoft Windows See How Much Like A Mac It Looks Edition.

OK, that'll come with Longhorn, but it's never too soon to register a trademark.

[Jeff Jensen]

Windows, Apple & Linux & Sun can all bundle everything they want, media, browser, etc. but we can't, edition.

[Randy]

Microsoft Why Does Apple Get To Bundle iTunes But Windows Can't Edition

[Craig]

Windows Don't Buy this Version, but the one next to it Edition

[Rex Hammock]

Dan, last Friday, I posted my top 10 suggestions on the rexblog (http://www.rexblog.com/2005/01/28#a5693). Here they are:

10. Windows Weakling
9. Windows Yugo
8. Windows Mute
7. Windows Crash
6. Windows Without
5. Windows Osama
4. Windows Short Horn
3. Windows Slow Edition
2. Windows FU-EU
and the number one least appealing name...
1. Windows Mini

[MasonMcD]

In the great tradition of ripping off Apple, how about Windows Sosumi?

Second runner up: Windows Sofa King What Edition

[Tim]

Windows: We'll Take over the world with the next version.

or

Windows: The more crappy version.

or

Windows: Another version we can sell version.

or finally

Windows: The Close your eyes and imagine it's Longhorn version.

[JK]

Dan, I think you are a sore loser in this whole episode. Get over this Microsoft thingy and move on.

[Joe]

Not one that reflects Microsoft's petulant attitude, but one that would more accurately reflect the reality of the product's features:

Windows XP SE,BSC (Security Enhanced, But Still Crappy) Edition

===============

Or, maybe this:

Windows XP-WMP: Spyware Maker's Nightmare-Come-True Edition

[Tristan Louis]

Windows LT (aka Windows Light)

[mackinaw]

windows: malware siren edition

[Cory Doctorow]

Windows: DRM-free edition

[Brian Baute]

How could we distinguish "Windows Really Crappy Edition" from all other Windows editions since they're all, well, really crappy?

[Herb]

Hmm.
Windows SLO-P (as in sloppy)
Or Windows EU-NIX(ed)

[fling93]

Randy: Microsoft Why Does Apple Get To Bundle iTunes But Windows Can't Edition

In general, there's nothing wrong with bundling as a practice. The only issue is when you bundle something with a product in which you have a monopoly. That's illegal leveraging of your monopoly to gain an insurmountable competitive advantage in another market. You can argue whether or not Microsoft really has a monopoly or whether governments ought to constrain monopolies, but that's the difference. I've written at length on this.

[David]

How about:

Windows without Media because even our programmers prefer the iPod

or

This WIndows Sucks Less

[Robert Gagnon]

Isn't about time all the complaining about Windows ends and we all just use a digital platform that works, ie OX/X on a Mac

[Karen M.]

How about just WYSIAWIG-LOL which could apply to ANY Windows software?

[Karen M.]

Yikes! a typo!!!

should have been WYSIAWYG-LOL...

(A = Almost)

On second thought, that "I" also works, for first person singular...

[Joi Ito]

Windows Royale

[Steve]

Windows Pong

[Jim]

MS Windows Spyware Edition.

[Khalid]

Windows IR (iTunes Ready edition)

[Sometimes Offensive]

Windows For the Visually Impaired Edition.