Microsoft Windows Really Crappy Edition
UPDATED
A few years ago, when ordered by a judge to remove Internet Explorer from the Windows operating system, Microsoft offered as one option an operating system that wouldn't work. I called this "compliance with a raised middle finger."
Now, ordered by the European Union to sell a version of Windows with Media Player removed, Microsoft proposed to name the OS "Windows XP Reduced Media Edition," another example of the company's tendency to give the finger to government whenever the mood strikes. (This latest insult-the-judge move is even more puzzling given that the EU didn't tell our favorite monopolist to sell the "reduced" version at a lower price, which means that PC makers are hardly likely to opt for a version that has less software at the same price.)
Anyway, Microsoft agreed to rename (eWeek) the non-Media Player version after the EU protested. But this leaves open the issue of what the actual name should be.
The title of this posting offers one suggestion. Here are some other possibilities, all showing due appreciation for Microsoft's rare combination of arrogance, paranoia and predatory skill.
You get the general idea. But Microsoft needs your ideas, too. Post them below.
Let's work together to assist a poor helpless giant.
UPDATE: As usual, someone has thought about this before I did. See this funny posting by Rex Hammock.
Dan Gillmor has an interesting take on the recent M$ move to call their new XP the 
Microsoft Windows Eeeyuuh Edition
Posted by: HT | February 02, 2005 at 07:23 AM
Microsoft Windows See How Much Like A Mac It Looks Edition.
OK, that'll come with Longhorn, but it's never too soon to register a trademark.
Posted by: Jim Hill | February 02, 2005 at 08:08 AM
Windows, Apple & Linux & Sun can all bundle everything they want, media, browser, etc. but we can't, edition.
Posted by: Jeff Jensen | February 02, 2005 at 08:16 AM
Microsoft Why Does Apple Get To Bundle iTunes But Windows Can't Edition
Posted by: Randy | February 02, 2005 at 08:18 AM
Windows Don't Buy this Version, but the one next to it Edition
Posted by: Craig | February 02, 2005 at 08:28 AM
Dan, last Friday, I posted my top 10 suggestions on the rexblog (http://www.rexblog.com/2005/01/28#a5693). Here they are:
10. Windows Weakling
9. Windows Yugo
8. Windows Mute
7. Windows Crash
6. Windows Without
5. Windows Osama
4. Windows Short Horn
3. Windows Slow Edition
2. Windows FU-EU
and the number one least appealing name...
1. Windows Mini
Posted by: Rex Hammock | February 02, 2005 at 08:57 AM
In the great tradition of ripping off Apple, how about Windows Sosumi?
Second runner up: Windows Sofa King What Edition
Posted by: MasonMcD | February 02, 2005 at 09:34 AM
Windows: We'll Take over the world with the next version.
or
Windows: The more crappy version.
or
Windows: Another version we can sell version.
or finally
Windows: The Close your eyes and imagine it's Longhorn version.
Posted by: Tim | February 02, 2005 at 09:39 AM
Dan, I think you are a sore loser in this whole episode. Get over this Microsoft thingy and move on.
Posted by: JK | February 02, 2005 at 09:53 AM
Not one that reflects Microsoft's petulant attitude, but one that would more accurately reflect the reality of the product's features:
Windows XP SE,BSC (Security Enhanced, But Still Crappy) Edition
===============
Or, maybe this:
Windows XP-WMP: Spyware Maker's Nightmare-Come-True Edition
Posted by: Joe | February 02, 2005 at 09:57 AM
Windows LT (aka Windows Light)
Posted by: Tristan Louis | February 02, 2005 at 10:17 AM
windows: malware siren edition
Posted by: mackinaw | February 02, 2005 at 10:33 AM
Windows: DRM-free edition
Posted by: Cory Doctorow | February 02, 2005 at 10:43 AM
How could we distinguish "Windows Really Crappy Edition" from all other Windows editions since they're all, well, really crappy?
Posted by: Brian Baute | February 02, 2005 at 10:45 AM
Hmm.
Windows SLO-P (as in sloppy)
Or Windows EU-NIX(ed)
Posted by: Herb | February 02, 2005 at 11:16 AM
Randy: Microsoft Why Does Apple Get To Bundle iTunes But Windows Can't Edition
In general, there's nothing wrong with bundling as a practice. The only issue is when you bundle something with a product in which you have a monopoly. That's illegal leveraging of your monopoly to gain an insurmountable competitive advantage in another market. You can argue whether or not Microsoft really has a monopoly or whether governments ought to constrain monopolies, but that's the difference. I've written at length on this.
Posted by: fling93 | February 02, 2005 at 01:08 PM
How about:
Windows without Media because even our programmers prefer the iPod
or
This WIndows Sucks Less
Posted by: David | February 02, 2005 at 02:12 PM
Isn't about time all the complaining about Windows ends and we all just use a digital platform that works, ie OX/X on a Mac
Posted by: Robert Gagnon | February 02, 2005 at 02:56 PM
How about just WYSIAWIG-LOL which could apply to ANY Windows software?
Posted by: Karen M. | February 02, 2005 at 07:22 PM
Yikes! a typo!!!
should have been WYSIAWYG-LOL...
(A = Almost)
On second thought, that "I" also works, for first person singular...
Posted by: Karen M. | February 02, 2005 at 07:24 PM
Windows Royale
Posted by: Joi Ito | February 02, 2005 at 07:37 PM
Windows Pong
Posted by: Steve | February 02, 2005 at 08:06 PM
MS Windows Spyware Edition.
Posted by: Jim | February 02, 2005 at 08:21 PM
Windows IR (iTunes Ready edition)
Posted by: Khalid | February 02, 2005 at 08:28 PM
Windows For the Visually Impaired Edition.
Posted by: Sometimes Offensive | February 02, 2005 at 09:28 PM